Chaos at Mealtime
by Just a Thought
Summary: The little half Sayians cook for a rather interesting get together, who could blame the others for wanting to eat out?
1. Default Chapter Title

Title: Chaos at Mealtime   
  
Warnings: A few foul words and the death of one very unlikable character (sorry to those of you who like him) and OOC, but nothing more.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own DB/DBZ/DBGT, I don't own the characters, any original concepts of Dragon Ball/Z/GT (i.e. senzu beans), and I don't own the Dragon Ball/Z/GT universe. I also make no money off this fic.   
  
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This is what you get when you cross one of those child menus, cheap crayons, one hyper, DBZ obsessed, fanfic writing teenager, and Denny's. Add in the fact that she's just been introduced to a DVD player with surround sound for the first time...Uh...hehe, watch out.  
  
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Vegeta stormed into the kitchen and glared at Bulma. "Woman, the gravity machine is broken...again."  
  
Bulma sighed. "Well Vegeta, you'll have to fix dinner then, because I can only do one thing at a time.  
  
"Me!?" Vegeta cried enraged. "The Prince of the Sayians will NOT fix his own meals."  
  
"Well then," Bulma retorted, "Your not getting the Gravity Machine fixed any time soon.  
  
Vegeta's eyebrow began to twitch. But his face lit up with an idea. "Trunks!" he hollered. "Trunks get in here!"  
  
"Oh hush up Vegeta!" Bulma growled covering her ears, unfortunately she happened to be holding a ladle filled with hot liquid which spilled on Vegeta.   
  
"Yeeeow!" he cried jumping a good foot in the air. "What are you trying to do? Burn the pants off me?"  
  
Bulma shook her head. "If you really want Trunks your going to have to go get him, chances are he can't hear you, after all, I did get him that DVD player, so he and Goten are probably tuning us out."  
  
Vegeta muttered a couple profanities before storming off.  
  
***  
  
"Trunks!" the full (and hot) blooded Sayian roared throwing the door open. Vegeta jumped when sound started coming from behind him once he entered the room. "What the hell!" he screamed turning around and around trying to figure out where the sound was coming from.  
  
"Oh hi dad!" Trunks said turning down the sound.  
  
Vegeta walked further into the room all the while looking around him trying to find out where the sound was coming from.  
  
Trunks and Goten just looked at him rather confused. "Did you want something?"  
  
Vegeta looked at his son and grinned, "Trunks, I don't suppose you know how to fix that stupid gravity machine do you?"  
  
Trunks raised one eyebrow. "Uh...nnnnoooo."  
  
"Well then," Vegeta took a deep breath before going on, "GET IN THE KITCHEN AND START COOKING!"  
  
Trunks and Goten both fell over anime style.  
  
"Uh, dad," Trunks said climbing back up and looking at him over the arm of the couch, "I don't think you want me to cook."  
  
"And why's that?" Vegeta asked.  
  
Trunks shot Goten a devilish glance, "Oh, never mind."  
  
***  
  
"Hey Trunks, would you hand me that bottle of hot sauce?" Goten asked.  
  
"Sure." Trunks replied handing it over.  
  
Goten snickered. "This ought to give your dad heartburn for at least three days." He snickered again and started hitting the end of the bottle so that it would come out faster. All that resulted was the white cap falling into the food and the entire contents of the bottle emptying into whatever he was trying to make. "Whoops."  
  
Trunks grinned and turned back the frying pan that held a bunch of ground beef. "Hehe." He muttered. "Is this supposed to be black or brown?"  
  
"I think the normal shade is brown." Goten replied.  
  
Trunks shrugged. "Oh well, black is pretty close, and if they ask we can pass it off as well done." He picked up a bit in his mouth and tried to chew on it. Tried. "Okay, very well done."  
  
Goten looked over at his friend. "So, uh, what exactly are we making?"  
  
Trunks sweat dropped. "I thought you knew."  
  
Goten shook his head, "I was just making this sauce."  
  
Trunks looked thoughtful. "Well, I don't think we can use this stuff for hamburgers." His eyes lit up, "So why don't we mix it all together and pass it off as lasagna!"   
  
Goten laughed. "Good idea!"  
  
***  
  
Bulma sat outside tinkering away with the gravity machine. "Oh no!" she said suddenly, "I forgot, this is the night we're having the reunion!"  
  
She quit work on the gravity machine temporarily and went inside. "Trunks? Goten?" she yelled.   
  
Trunks stuck his messy face out of the kitchen door. "Yeah?"  
  
~I wonder how sanitary that food is.~ Bulma thought. ~Oh well, I'm sure no one's going to die or anything.~  
  
"Did ya want something?" Goten asked sticking his head out under Trunks's.   
  
~Good god.~ Bulma found herself thinking, ~He looks like he's been swimming in whatever they were cooking.~ She hesitated for another moment. "Uh, make sure you have enough for the whole gang, they're coming over tonight."  
  
Both demi Sayians flashed evil little grins before disappearing back into the kitchen.  
  
Bulma turned to the phone and dialed a number. "Yes? Hello? Chinese Takeout Delivery? I'd like to order about 200 tons of food. Yes, to go. No, I'm not joking. What! This is the president of Capsule Corporation that your talking to! Yes! I do have the money to pay for it!"  
  
***  
  
"Hi." Bulma said pleasantly as Krillian, Juuhachigou, and Marron entered. She turned back to the group. "Well, that's everybody." She said.  
  
"Uh Bulma," Krillian asked. "You wouldn't happen to be redecorating would you?"  
  
Bulma shook her head. "No, that's what Vegeta did when he found out that Trunks and Goten replaced his shampoo with glue.  
  
Marron snickered as they sat down.  
  
"Okay!" Bulma yelled over the talking of many people. "Listen up. The food should be here any moment now, while we're waiting," she grimaced, "Goten and Trunks whipped up a nice appetizer."  
  
Goten leaned over and whispered into Trunks's ear, "I hope Vegeta gets some of that stuff we scrapped off the walls."  
  
Trunks started snickering uncontrollably. Finally he just fell face first into the table and laughed, "Mwahahahahaha!" Of course this got him many strange looks.  
  
"I say," Roshi commented to Vegeta, "I think you've given the poor kid one too many happy pills."  
  
Vegeta growled and punched him so that the old perverts chair tipped over, him included. "Shaddup ya old fart."  
  
While this was going on Chi Chi had started passing the "appetizer" around, but only because she was tempted to grab the dish and wash it thoroughly while laughing like a psychotic housewife. The first person the dish came around to was Goku who took a fair portion of the large pan, but only because Chi Chi made him.   
  
The next person it came to was Gohan. He wisely began to pass it on without taking any.  
  
"Gohan." Goten whined. "You don't want any of our dish?" he asked and stuck out his lower lip.   
  
Gohan, wanting to avoid glares spooned out a tiny little amount before passing it over Pan's head and outstretched arms, on to Videl. He then leaned down and whispered to his young daughter. "There, there. Nuclear waste isn't good for you."  
  
Piccolo, who was next, after Videl, to receive it heard the statement because he had more sensitive ears than anyone else at the table and started chuckling.  
  
Of course now everyone stared at him. "What?" he growled defensively. "I am not on drugs."  
  
It took a few moments for everyone to go back to normal, and when they did, the passing of the dish went on. Yajirobi took more than enough before passing it on to Yamcha.  
  
"Hey!" Yamcha protested. "There's no more left!"  
  
"I guess it's too bad that you were the last one, cause there's just none left." Yajirobi replied smugly.   
  
"What are you talking about?" Yamcha asked. "Goku, Gohan, Vegeta, and you are the only ones that took any."  
  
Gohan's eyes brightened. "You want mine?" he asked. Before Yamcha could reply the oldest half Sayian had thrown the plate at the poor human.  
  
The plate slid down Yamcha's now-coated-with-"lasagna"-face soon after. "Gee, thanks Gohan." He muttered.  
  
"Your welcome." Gohan said innocently.   
  
Before any more chaos could happen Bulma staggered into the room with a mountain of white boxes. "Here ya guys go!" she said setting them all down on the table.  
  
All the Sayians leapt into the air ready to dig in, but before they could Chi Chi yelled, "Stop right there!" Everyone's eyes turned to her.  
  
"We're going to do this in a calm, orderly fashion." She said. "And," she turned to Goku, "no, the container is not classified as food."  
  
***  
  
Everyone was happily munching away in a few moments due to the ingenuity of the mothers in the group, though Yajirobi had to be satisfied with just his "lasagna" appetizer. Nobody noticed when he shoveled in a load (with something white in it) and started coughing. Nobody noticed either when he started turning blue. However, they did notice when he started making hacking noises and beating his chest.   
  
"Hey!" Roshi said, "I can do an impression of King Kong too!" he stood up on the table and started beating his chest too. "Ahyeeahyeeyaaaaa *cough cough wheeze* Ayee...Ow! *crash*"  
  
The "Ow" and the "Crash" were caused by Vegeta pounding the old turtle hermit in the shins causing him to fall over backwards and meet the floor rather painfully.  
  
By now Yajirobi had passed out.  
  
Yamcha shook him forcefully, "Hey wake up, quit playin dead!" Yajirobi didn't respond. "Um...guys, I don't think he's faking it."  
  
"Well," Bulma spoke up, "Does anyone here care?"  
  
No body responded.  
  
"Um..." Goku raised a hand. "I do care that we're all out of food." His hand inched for one of the boxes, but Chi Chi slapped it away.  
  
"Well then," Bulma sighed, "I guess we're going to have to go out to eat."  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
Dun dun dun. What poor restaurant will be invaded by the DBZ crew? Find out in the next installment! Hehe, this was actually written as a way to cheer myself up. Good thing it worked or I'd still be in the pits of depression. :)  
  



	2. Default Chapter Title

  
Warnings: Swearing  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, or Dragon Ball GT. That includes the characters, their belongings, unique ideas like senzu beans, and the settings. I don't make any money off of what I write either.  
  
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Please don't get mad at me for taking so long peoples, I very nearly got electrocuted which shook me up pretty bad. That and the fact that I've had writer's block lately.  
  
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"I'd like to go that nice French restaurant." Bulma suggested.  
"Hell no woman!" Vegeta protested.  
"And why not!?" Bulma retorted.  
"Because," Vegeta grumbled, "Whenever we go there you always make me ask what the French stuff means!" he glared at Bulma.  
"How about fast food?" Goten and Trunks asked.  
"Why can't we go somewhere nice." Lunch asked. "This is, after one of the few times we get together."  
"Besides, we have a large group, a fast food place would probably already have several guests." Choazu agreed.  
While everyone was discussing where to go, Vegeta had dropped out of the conversation and was picking around with the "lasagna" he still hadn't eaten. He picked up a bit on his fork an put it in his mouth. The Sayian chewed it a bit, then practically breathed out a flame. "Kuso!" he cried. "What are you kids trying to make me into? That damn dragon Shenlong?"  
"Naw." Both chuckled, "We just wanted to give the effect of him in your stomach."  
"Why you!" Vegeta jumped up and started chasing the little troublemakers around the table.   
Gohan sighed then made a proposal, "How about a restaurant like Denny's."  
Everyone at the table started muttering about it before agreeing.  
"Vegeta! Get yourself down here with the kids!" Bulma yelled. "We're all going to Denny's."  
A few moments later Vegeta emerged with a swollen eye and one kid in each hand. Each one was slightly beat up. Bulma eyed them warily. "Well, if anyone asks, you're the single parent of those two."  
  
***  
  
After driving around for quite a while, the Dragon Ball gang still hadn't found Denny's, but they had found several McDonalds and an IHOP, so they decided that the house of pancakes was as close as they were going to get.  
"Hello." One of the waitresses said cheerily as the group walked in. "Table for how...many?" she trailed off seeing the size of the entire group. "Oh my." She mumbled.  
"Knew I shoulda counted earlier." Bulma muttered. "Hokay. Everybody, line up in alphabetical order!"  
"First name or last?" Bulma's father asked.  
"You idiot!" Juuhachigou yelled. "Some of us don't have last names!"  
Mr. Breifs sweat dropped. "I think that young lady has a worse temper than Bulma." He muttered to his wife.  
"I heard that!" both Juuhachigou and Bulma yelled at the same time.  
"Uh," the waitress said, "Why don't we just throw together a dozen tables?"  
Bulma brightened up. "That sounds like a great idea."  
  
***  
  
When the waitress reached the room that she was to seat everyone at Goten and Trunks each picked up one of the nearby tables. "One. Two. Three!" they yelled slinging each of their tables at one another. Then they picked up another one.  
"What do you think your doing!" Bulma screamed.  
Both boys sweat dropped and tried to hide their tables behind their backs for some strange reason. "Uh, throwing a few tables together."  
The waitress slapped herself in the forehead. "Ya know." Muten Roshi said, "Your pretty cute when you get flustered." The waitress looked at him with half lidded eyes for a moment, it was plain that the old balding man was annoying her. Apparently, Roshi didn't notice. "Hey, how about we go back to my island once you get off work.  
"I won't go with you to your island, but a couple of bumps will!" The waitress pulled a mallet out of hammer space, then hit him numerous times with the mallet, hard, knocking the pervert out. "Good riddance ya hentai." She muttered.  
Yamcha leaned over and whispered in Puar's ear, "Now you know why I'm scared of women."   
Puar nodded. "Going out with girls like that can only cause pain."  
Yamcha looked at his friend, "Though I'm not sure just were."  
Vegeta looked around. "Hey wait." He protested. "Can't you get us seats closer to the kitchen?" The waitress shook her head then began passing out menus. "Darn waitresses, always put us in the worst sections.  
  
***  
  
"There you go." The waitress said sitting an adult menu and two children menus in front of Juuhachigou. "My," she commented, "What adorable children you have."   
Juu blinked then pointed to Krillian, "Actually, he's my husband."  
The waitress blushed then quickly gave poor Krillian an adults menu. After that she moved on to the next person, who happened to be Piccolo. Before she could hand him anything though he asked, "Do you have an alcoholic menu, I'm going to need something hard after a night like this."  
Everyone at the big long table stopped what they were doing and looked at Piccolo.  
"I'm not an alcoholic." Piccolo said firmly.  
Goku in particular though let out a gasp. "Piccolo! I never thought I'd hear something like that from you! My image of you has been tainted, is diluted, it's..."  
Chi Chi clamped a hand down on her husbands mouth. It took awhile, but everyone soon started talking again and went back to what they were doing.  
The waitress moved on quickly to Gohan, Videl, and Pan. "And you?" she asked handing them each a menu.  
"Give me one of those alcoholic menus too." Gohan whispered.  
Videl quietly gasped. "Gohan!"  
Gohan leaned over towards the waitress. "And one for my wife too."  
"Something tells me I shouldn't be serving this group alcohol." The waitress muttered under her breath. Then she got an idea. "I'm sorry." She said cheerily. "The best I can do is a Pinacolada." [Authors note: Do they even sell that sort of stuff at IHOP? I don't think so, but just pretend they do kay?]  
  
***  
  
Trunks and Goten both began to examine their children's menus. "They call this a meal?" Trunks snorted. "This pancake with the smiley face looks rather interesting though." He began to chuckle. That is, until Vegeta snatched the flimsy piece of paper away from his son. "Dad!" Trunks protested trying to take the paper back. "Mooooom." He whined.  
"Shut up." Vegeta growled. He then began snorting and uttering suppressed chuckles. "They call these aliens." Before Trunks could protest Vegeta had grabbed his crayons too. He was now just plain laughing like a lunatic as he colored and scribbled with the only two colors available, Green and Red. Well, he did until the red suddenly snapped and broke. "Damn cheap crayons." He grumbled.   
Trunks leaned over his father's shoulder, "Dad!" he said a bit surprised. "You didn't even color in the lines!"  
"I know." Vegeta grinned. Then he pointed to one of his colorful creations that looked as though it had been colored to show spurting blood. "That one's Frieza, though he didn't have green blood. This one over here is Zarbon, note the leg warmers? Did I ever tell you about Zarbon..."  
"Mom!" Trunks cried, "Stop him!"  
"Vegeta, your scaring the kids." Bulma warned.  
  
***  
  
After everyone had ordered. (And they ordered a lot of stuff!) Everyone sat down to talk and wait for the food.  
"This is why I like the fast food restaurants, you don't have to wait so damn long to get your food. What are they doing back there anyway?" Vegeta grumbled.  
"Vegeta." Bulma warned.   
"Hey, I got an idea!" Goku shouted. "Why don't we all go and take a tour of the kitchen!"  
"No!" all the women yelled.  
  
***  
  
After all the Sayians had gotten their mountain of food in front of them, (the humans were already full, but not the Sayians...) and had begun to chow down, everyone began to talk again. Vegeta being the exception of the two groups because he tried to sneak Choatzu onto Goku's plate.  
"Hey!" Goku protested. "I don't eat mimes, remember?"  
Vegeta just snickered. "That's what you think!"  
Goku looked slightly disturbed at this comment.  
  
***  
  
Seeing as Sayians are pretty quick at inhaling their food they were all done in about five minutes. So Bulma went to go pay the bill. Then they all piled (literally) into the car and drove back to Capsule Corp.  
  
The End  
  
Written through writer's block (I know it was a little rushed), feel free to throw vegetables at me. Oh, and thank you Daughter of Chaos for convincing me to actually finish this.   



End file.
